Friday, April 4, 2014

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

"Don't think of introversion as something that needs to be cured."

 Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain

I heard about this book some months ago and thought, "As introverted as I am, I probably ought to read that."  I have come to generally accept that I'm introverted but feel mostly inconvenienced by it, especially at work, where I need to be a team player and negotiator.  I hoped this would be an insightful read, and it was.  This was a great book.  Perhaps more than anything else it made me feel empowered as an introvert: reassuring me that there are many others that are also introverts that are highly effective and successful.

The book climbs through different themes, including how we came to be a nation that so highly prizes extroversion, what introverts are naturally good at and how introverts can be more effective at extroverted tasks.

There were a number of times throughout the book that I felt like shouting, "That's me!  That is me!"  One example:

"Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions."

I also found a great definition for one of my key characteristics, which Cain describes as "high sensitivity."  This is me to a T:

“The highly sensitive [introverted] tend to be philosophical or spiritual in their orientation, rather than materialistic or hedonistic. They dislike small talk. They often describe themselves as creative or intuitive. They dream vividly, and can often recall their dreams the next day. They love music, nature, art, physical beauty. They feel exceptionally strong emotions--sometimes acute bouts of joy, but also sorrow, melancholy, and fear. Highly sensitive people also process information about their environments--both physical and emotional--unusually deeply. They tend to notice subtleties that others miss--another person's shift in mood, say, or a lightbulb burning a touch too brightly.”

 I just felt so empowered by the whole thing.  As soon as I finished I handed the book to TJ and said, "Read this.  It will teach you all about me."  Overall, it was full of great insight and helpful tips.  I really strongly recommend this to anyone that is an introvert or married to, living with, or raising one.

2 comments:

  1. Sounds like an interesting book. I will admit, I did not realize you were an introvert. I have a few friends that I would better understand if I read the book (if you think it really adds a new perspective/insight). Thanks for the recommendation!

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    1. Indeed I am an introvert!

      I do think it's worth reading - it helps you understand what an introvert is and is not, what they are good at, what makes them un/comfortable, etc. Being an introvert doesn't mean you don't like being with people, but it often means you prefer small groups of people. I have to conscientiously take time after being with large groups to reenergize: it sucks the energy from me to go to large parties, etc. However, I love having two couples over for dinner and games in our home. I think it could teach you some helpful hints for interacting with them and making things more comfortable for them!

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